19 Feb Are you allowing your untreated hearing loss to affect your relationships?
Most people would quickly say “no”.
But is that actually a fair statement? Have you asked your spouse, family members, and friends? And did you listen to their response?
Read this excerpt from an article by Ann Brenoff, of Huffington Post (full article: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ann-brenoff/hearing-loss-middle-age_b_1325772.html)
“Around 36 million American adults suffer from hearing loss, and my husband is one of them. Let’s talk about what that means in very practical terms:
We now pick restaurants based on their noise level over the quality or type food they serve. If the ceilings are too high or the walls too inadequately covered, the sounds of dishes and glasses clanking, music playing and people laughing will make it impossible for him to hear or participate in conversation at our table. The problem came to a head not long ago when we had to get up and leave after waiting an hour for a table at a tapas restaurant on Kauai because of the noise volume in the room. Why blow $100 on a vacation dinner to sit there unable to have a conversation, we reasoned. Was I disappointed? You bet.
We can no longer watch TV in the same room together. He needs the TV volume to be so loud that it rattles my molars. For his last birthday, I bought him a headset. It helps some … when he wears it. He doesn’t like to because he says it distorts the sound coming from the TV. Do I miss hearing his droll commentary whenever Anderson Cooper does a “60 Minutes” segment? Of course I do.
Our cell-phone-to-cell-phone conversations are kept to just the basics. Information is shouted. It goes something like this:
Me: “Pick up milk.” Him: “What about ‘tonight?'” Me: “Milk. I said MILK.”
I’ve reverted to texting him and hoping he sees it in time. Does this compensatory measure work? Not always.
He doesn’t especially like to go to parties or events anymore if he knows there will be a microphone in use or electrified music playing. It makes it hard for him to make out what people are saying. When we do go, he stays close by my side, knowing that I’ll repeat key words of the conversation to enable him to join in. Has this put a crimp in our social life? Absolutely.
Hearing loss doesn’t just impact the person whose hearing is diminished. Everyone who loves them and lives with them suffers. How has my husband’s affliction affected our family? For one, I’m tired of being accused of mumbling, of watching my husband become frustrated when the kids make noise in the backseat and he can’t hear me giving directions when I’m sitting next to him in the car. The kids have slipped into the role of being their Dad’s “ears,” knowing that he won’t understand them the first time; I hear their voices rise when they have to repeat things a third or fourth time and am grateful that there is no accompanying eye rolling or taking advantage of the fact that when he agrees to something, he might not actually have heard the request. Only once did I hear “Dad said we could watch it” to a particularly violent show.
For the record, my husband and I aren’t old. His hearing loss has been gradual and only recently reached the point where we know it has to be dealt with. How big a deal is it? With the exception of a heart attack he suffered six years ago, I can’t think of a bigger life-altering health issue that we’ve faced than his hearing loss.”
In the spirit of Valentine’s Day, sit down with your partner and family and ask if their frustrations are similar to the account above. Have an open and honest discussion, and truly evaluate if your hearing loss is affecting your relationships.
There is help available. Call 482-2222 to schedule a hearing test and consult to determine how we can help you help your relationships.
